Mary

My mother was an alcoholic.
She had me as 16.
I was brought up by my nan. 

As a child I watched my mum bring home man after man to pay for her lifestyle of drink/drugs and having what she called a bit of “harmless fun”… I watched a man throw her down the stairs and break her arm and collar bone. I was 5.

My nan tried to keep me away from her, but she was her mum, and my mum would sob and beg so my nan kept letting her back in. I hated my mum I resented her and couldn't understand why she even had me – to this day I don't have any good memories of her.  

My Nan then died when I was 18… My world had finally fallen apart and the only thing I knew was to start drinking to numb the pain, I would self harm to numb the pain, I would take drugs to numb the pain... Being numb helped me cope.

I was taken to hospital there were staff about night and day and a team to help me.

Finally, I got to move to a new home at JUST with people about who were there for me.
Although I didn’t need help – I just wanted my Nan back and to do things my way.

Being out of hospital meant I could be Miss Independent, so my first plan was making friends with the local off licence!

After being there for a week, I woke up with my face in my own sick. Sometime later with friendly staff by my side, showers, coffees, fresh air, tears, and encouragement I knew I had to change or die.

But I couldn’t do on my own. The staff (even if they never knew it) saved me.
We worked together nothing was ever forced and slowly but surely, I learnt to think new thoughts. It was not easy; it was a struggle to just open my eyes and start the day.

My keyworker knew how I ticked and really helped with all the self-doubt I had.

At Just they saw me as a person not a problem.

Days became months and years, and I did it – a day at a time. After 3 years and 3 months I moved on and guess what I do now?

I'm a motivational speaker and help others where I can.

I went back to thank that member of staff who saved my life we both cried tears of happiness.

(names have been changed as this SU would like to stay anonymous)